Then and Now

Ian Kampersol

Professor Meek

English Composition I

February 21, 2008

Then and Now,

When I was in elementary school, I was a very shy kid; I would sit in the corner of the lunch room by myself and eat my sandwiches and crackers in silence. I was always getting picked on by all the other kids because I was so much bigger then my classmates. I was about 5’7 and I weighed two hundred pounds in 6^th grade. Due to my size I was always being picked on by a specific group of kids. These kids would taunt me daily and put me in a bad mood for the day. Occasionally I would get physical and start fights. Like a wrestler in a caged fight, I would pick kids up and throw them down because of my anger towards them. Due to my actions, I would always be the only one who got into trouble when a teacher interrupted and I would constantly be sent to the principal’s office Overall, I was helpless as a bird without feathers and I wanted to change.

Back then, I never talked to the other kids except a select few who I did like. It was tough for me because every single day at recess I would go out and play soccer or basketball and it would be someone who I was playing with would grab the ball and hold onto it, or when I had the ball, they would purposely try to take me on and start hitting me instead of trying to get the ball. This angered me and throughout elementary school, I wish I could have done something to change all of this abuse. I had gone to the teachers but they were useless and never did anything helpful other then talk to them. The principal and I were worst enemies already. I needed help, I needed support I even needed my dad to come into school some days and question the administration why I was getting treated so badly. I was desperate for help. I was praying for something; anything at all would happen so that I could fight through all of this mess. I felt like I was the only one most of the time. I believed my peers when they said I was fat and worthless. I really started to get down on myself. There was no way out; or so I thought. It didn’t take long but that event I was always praying for would be sooner then later.

My personality shifted within a single night. I have a cousin who I always looked up to because he was older, bigger, and stronger then me. I wanted to be just like him one day. This particular night he was over visiting my family and we had our usual wrestling match. I lost as expected but in the meantime, though all my sweating and panting, I realized something. If I was so much bigger and stronger then all of the other kids in my class, why don’t I use my size to my advantage? I mean, I am stronger and bulkier then everyone else, I shouldn’t cower away from them when they gang up on me, I should stand my ground and show them that being bigger is better. I know I’m the best at basketball in my school after all, so why don’t I just show them who I am. Im not weaker, Im bigger, stronger, and Im better then them.

After that night, I went to bed with a new sense of who I was. That night I learned a lot about myself. I learned who I was and who I should be. I was a lot stronger then I was giving myself credit for. I was a changed kid. The next day at recess while playing soccer, someone kicked the soccer ball at my head. Normally, I would have gotten angry at that point but I was thinking well let’s play on. Shortly after, the same kid fired the ball at my head again and I walked up to him, looked him straight into his eyes and said in my threatening tone “you better stop that or else.” He replied “or else what?” with a snicker. I told him “hit me again and find out.” After that incident we continued play for awhile longer. Nevertheless, it was not long before he tested my patience for the last time and as soon as he got the ball, he shot it right at my face and hit me square in the nose. I was done. I couldn’t take it any longer. All this time of planning to get back at him and his group would end now. Like a star that was about to burst and a steam engine that was overheating, I ran over to him up to him and clobbered him in the side of his head forcing him to fall on the cold bitter ground. I stood over him and said “that’s what’s going to happen. If you were smart, I wouldn’t do that again.” From that day on I was a new person. Like a fight scene in a jail movie, I was instantly respected by all of my peers. My enemies tried to make good with me so they wouldn’t suffer the same fate. Even the teachers tried to not be so rude to me. Even though I was quiet, I packed quite a powerful punch.

I believe that the reason I changed was because I was tired of everyone picking on

me. I wanted just to be respected and not being made fun of. I wanted to go through a full day without having to worry about someone breathing down my neck every two minutes. I don’t know exactly what helped me change but I think it was when I thought about my cousin, I felt his strength and power and I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.

I see now that because of my actions I gained the respect of my peers and I was much happier. I still picture those days when id be sitting away from everyone else talking to myself and eating my ice cream. I would rather now sit with many people in a group rather then have to confine myself away from society.